The difficulty of streaming

I find streaming difficult. I have heard comments saying how easy it is to make it into a career. I tell them, “you’re crazy if you believe that.” I started streaming on Twitch a couple years back. My rig is pretty old, but solid enough for games like Black Desert Online with some settings turned off. I never thought about making it big. All I wanted was a small following and afterwards combine it with writing. I’m not sure what the writing will consist of. I haven’t completely thought it though.

The biggest hurdle streaming is consistency. I haven’t been able to lock down a schedule in a year. Rogue elements in my life constantly pop up and privacy is an issue. I live with my parents so it’s basically impossible for them not to barge in every once in a while. Living in NYC is rough with rent as high as the buildings, so it’s economically sound compared to living with roommates or trying to find a studio in NYC. I pay for a couple of utilities and some basic necessities. I need to be able to setup a schedule I can easily follow each week. Otherwise growth will be inconsistent and follower retention will suffer.

The second hurdle is the hardware. If you stream games that have low hardware requirements, your setup if its within a couple years won’t matter all too much. However, if you’re streaming games that are fairly resource intensive, you need a suitable system to play and stream smoothly. My hardware is old, but running strong for all the esports related games like Overwatch or Fortnite. The games are on the lowest possible settings for the the highest consistent fps. Luckily my computer has managed to stay running nicely for the past five years, but I’m afraid one day my system will take a dump. I have the necessary funds to buy a new computer, but I want to save up a bit more until then. I have all the necessary peripherals so I’m set. Maybe a better boom arm for my microphone, but that’s it.

The most important aspect in streaming is the streamer. I feel my personality is utter garbage. I feel like I’m trying to force out ta conversation or I’m too focus on the game and being quiet. This aspect of streaming depresses me because I feel my personality isn’t good enough for streaming. Connecting with the viewers is crucial. The lack of viewers and my self-doubts made me stop streaming. Ultimately its the will of the person behind the camera that leads to great success, but I feel I’m a weak individual with terrible social skills.

I do want to try streaming again when my situation is less volatile. I don’t know… Maybe streaming is not with me, but the dream of connecting with others through this medium is enticing. It’s why I have lingering thoughts on the matter. As cliche as it is, only time will tell…or something along those lines.


What I want to be/reality of the situation

I’m not a consistent person. I have failed to keep weekly post of this blog. Part of it is laziness. Posting has always been on the back of my mind. A constant nagging feeling that will not let up, but I’m never fully compelled to act on it. In recent months, I finally got a job as a houseman at a hotel. Not glamorous, but it pays the food and bills. I’m grateful to have some spending money and not feel like total shit on relying on family members on basic necessities.

I don’t see myself spending too long there, but at the same time I’m at a lost what I want to be in future. At least in terms of career paths. I had aspirations as a writer, but I could never be consistent with writing. I wanted to be a streamer as dumb as it sounds. Interacting with people and enjoying the company of folks online seemed rather appealing, but I found myself at a lost of words whenever I go live. I tend to utilize streaming as a way of venting, but I don’t want to be a streamer known only for being irrationally angry playing games. As a somewhat socially inept person, I don’t want to sound stupid in front of people. I’m a quiet person, but I tend to be talkative with friends. Even then I find it hard to strike up conversations with them, let alone strangers. It’s hard for me to talk about things when I’m streaming and gaming.

Eventually I will choose a career path. Hopefully it will lead to prosperity in the future, but now? Things look murky as hell. At least I’m on a dinky life raft with the job I have. But its not a stable job. My job has a ridiculously high turn overrate. People I’ve known since I started work have quit and the possibly of injuring myself is high. It is manual labor and I’m a small 5’3 skinny Asian kid. It is possible I could be out of the job due to an injury. It is possible I might make a mistake and end up getting fired. I’m terrified at the prospect of being unemployed after years of being unemployed.

I apologize for the bleak post. I needed to vent and writing it in this format helps a bit. Hopefully, I’ll post more gaming content related stuff or random things of interest.

Stage Two and Team Compositions

This post is not some deep analysis of hero picks or anything serious of that nature. It’s just a small observation of compositions being ultilized. With the nerf of Mercy, support heroes neglected last meta are breath with new life. Lucio and Ana are back baby, but Mercy is not being tossed in the corner to rot. She still has resurrect, which is probably the most powerful non ultimate ability in the game. A powerful ability like resurrect should always have a drawback. Mercy is vulnerable to displacement and is a sitting duck without support. In the match with Dallas Fuel and the LA Gladiators, Custa’s Mercy kept bringing back AKM and damaged boost him along with nano that made his visor far superior to Surefour’s nano visor. Mercy is not dead, but the power gap between the support heroes have diminished just a bit.

Ana may still be a bit lacking because of the dive meta. Nothing in that regard has changed. DVA’s defense matrix and shields reduces Ana’s effectiveness on the field. I’m not entirely sure what kind of buffs Ana needs, but I feel she needs something to make her more competitive with the other supports.

Dive meta is back. Lucio and Zenyatta had a strong showing this week. Zen’s sheer damage output and discord orbs coupled with Lucio’s speed boost is more entertaining to watch than the moth meta of the past. However, this meta isn’t anything new. If you watch any of the APEX matches in Korea, dive meta was all the rage. We are just returning back to it. However, there are more ways to deal with dive compositions, so it’s not easily the steam roll-able onslaught like it was in the past. Dive is still tricky to work out since it requires impeccable coordination among team members.

Death ball compositions is back and even more vicious than ever. With the addition of Moira, it’s even easier to heal it. Moira’s ultimate can be charged very quickly which can snowball a fight in favor of the team with her.

So if this first week is any indicator of things to come, dive and death ball compositions will be very popular. Of course this depends on the map type in question. Some compositions work very well on certain maps like death ball on the first point on King’s Row. Dive works practically on any map, but the coordination required to play it through has to be top notch. It should be interesting to see what will unfold during week two.

Stage Two of OWL

As of this post, 47 minutes from now will be the start of OWL stage two. This first team to face off will be Seoul Dynasty versus LA Valiants. The second team to face off is the Dallas Fuel versus Shanghai Dragons with the last set being LA Gladiators versus SF Shocks. It should be noted these matches will be on the patch with the nerfs to Mercy. Moth meta allowed for aggressive plays, but with her recent changes, teams will have to change up their styles. With the nerf to Mercy, we will probably see more Lucio and Moira. I’m not so sure about Ana because dive, shields and defensive matrix make her relatively weak compare to the other supports. Ana will probably be run on certain maps like the first point of Gibraltar where there is high ground for Ana to perch with teammates being nearby in case she needs peeling.

The team I look forward to playing will be the Dallas Fuel. The team has struggled in the last meta with their weak tank lineup. With XQC barred from stage one, the team had to rely on an anti dive comp. Towards the end of stage one, they began to show their true strength and played more consistently. This meta, there is a chance for death ball meta to come back into play which suits the old EnvyUs style of slow drawn out fights.

I’m just glad moth meta is gone. Mercy won’t disappear though. She will still be paired with Pharah and her resurrection ability is nothing to be scoffed at. She can still resurrect people if they get picked off early, but she will not be as oppressive like she was in the moth meta. I’m interested to see what supports teams will be running. I hope to see more Lucio and Ana: Lucio with the crazy wall climbs/peels and Ana for nanos, grenades and sleep darts.


My Gamer Fuel

Seems like a fun topic to talk about. The stereotypical gamer food is usually something portable and can be eaten with one hand. I’ve been thinking about what I eat before a gaming session. I put away about an hour before starting a session with the following foods: rice balls, water, an energy drink, and some dried fruits.

I absolutely love rice balls. They are compact, dense, and delicious. I live next to a tea shop that specializes in rice balls. My typical order is either SPAM or shrimp tempera with some hot green tea. I try not to overeat cause it makes me tired. If I’m not in the mood for rice balls, any sandwich or food in a compact form will do.

The energy drink varies at times. Sometimes I would have it and other days I would leave it out. It’s usually Red Bull and on rare occasion Monsters. Monster is usually too sweet for my taste. I would order ice coffee, but my stomach has been acting up lately so I tend to only have it in small amounts. The drink I need the most is regular water. There is literally no substitute for it. It keeps you quenched and hydrated.

Dried fruits like apricots, raisins are my go to snacks through a session. I stagger the fruits across the gaming session. It helps me sustain the session as long as I need it.

There’s my gamer fuel of choice. Without this subsistence, competing on ladder would literally be absolute hell. Stomach triumphs over gaming any day.

Nearing the end of a season and more!

As of this post, season eight in Overwatch is coming to an end. It’s been a rough season for me going from high masters two seasons ago to just barely qualifying for masters. A major part of it was the season gap between season six and seven. I took time off from the game. I jumped back in midway in season eight to discover my skills have dulled to the point I was a liability.

DPS is my preferred role, but it’s a role coveted by most players. Healers is a solid second and tanks are last. I like to frag out as much as possible and go for highlight plays, but it’s also what holds me back as a player. I try to do cool shit and end up face down on the floor looking like an idiot. It’s a stark difference from my MMO background where I main healer. In Overwatch, I like supports where I could have the most offensive impact. Whether it’s Ana or Moira, I like to be able to hold my own against the enemy as well as be healer the team needs. My hero picks this season is all over the place. Jack of all trades, master of none. I flex and get punish for it. Maybe I should focus on just a handful of heroes, but it would be boring. I’ve never been able to just stick to a single hero. My mechanical skills is too inconsistent to be good with McCree and Tracer, but my game sense is solid. Keeping tabs on enemy ultimate and positioning isn’t too difficult. I’ve also discovered I’m decent at shot calling. With it in mind, I should go forth the next season being a tank or support. Lord knows we need more of those.

With just six days to the end of season eight, I thought I make a post summarizing my overall experience this season. It was short, but insightful. In other Overwatch related content, the Overwatch League was some of the best things I’ve watch this year. NYXL lost to the London Spitfire was thrilling and heartbreaking. Dallas Fuel is my team even if they did poorly. Their victory over the LA Gladiators was uplifting. They looked almost like the EnvyUs of the past. They won without Effect as well. Dallas Fuel has struggled with their coordination and weak tank line up. I’m hopeful in stage two, Dallas Fuel will be a force to be reckon with. BURN BLUE!

FGO Valentine 2018



I’m not prepared for this. I thought it was going to be some Valentine rerun, but this is so evil. JAlter/Setsubun was a bait gacha for this event. SEMIRAMIS! She will arrive tomorrow in all her beautiful glory. I don’t have the quartz or monetary income for this Q_Q. So this event will last about half a month so I will have that one percent chance of scoring a character I’ve long sought after. Like any other event, I will probably farm it to death to get all the materials in shop. I hope you masters are ready. I know I’m not.

On another note, I will post more Overwatch content, but it’ll be my usual rant about competitive ladder. I may write an article relating to things in the pro scene, but I’m hesitant on the subject matter. Anyway folks, I’m out. Happy Tuesday!